HK-47 vs Mr. Bones
HK47 vs Mr Bones.jpeg|Dio the Ludicolo Description Despite being separated by thousands of years, these two droids share so much in common. Who will emerge victorious in this battle of the bloody bots? Interlude Wiz: Assasination. It's not a pretty job, but there's always somebody out there who wants somebody else dead. Boomstick: So why not make yourself a droid? Those guys'll do anything! Wiz: Right you are, Boomstick. One example of a daring droid willing to kill no matter what is HK-47, Revan's personal assassin. Boomstick: And we can't forget Mr. Bones, Temmin Wexely's personal murder machine! Wiz: These mechanical harbingers of death may be separated by thousands of years and exist within different canons, but today we'll finally analyze their weapons, armor, and skill to determine who would win in a Death Battle! HK-47 Boomstick: A long, long time ago... Wiz: 3,960 years before the Battle of Yavin, to be exact. Boomstick: Don't interrupt! Now, as I was saying. A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... Everything was pretty much shit. Wiz: Well, that's putting it bluntly. Darth Revan, a dark lord of the Sith, had an iron grip over the Galaxy. He commanded the creation of a Mass Shadow Generator, a superweapon that would use gravitational anomalies to unleash devastating destruction upon anybody Revan wished. Boomstick: Fortunately for everybody in the galaxy, it did way too much damage and Revan decided to lay off the superweapons. Unfortunately for everybody in the galaxy, he decided to murder people in another way. A more discreet way. Wiz: Enter HK-47, a psychotic assassin droid who enjoyed the torture and murder of organic life. HK-47: Recitation: Yes, as I said, I am an assassin droid. It is my primary function to burn holes through meatbags that you wish removed from the galaxy… Master. Oh, how I hate that term. Boomstick: You know that this guy's going places when he was made as a replacement for a weapon of mass destruction. And he did! Everything was hunky-dory with HK-47 carrying out assassination missions. He could wipe anybody off the face of the galaxy. Wiz: That was, until he was damaged and Revan was captured by the Jedi Order. Boomstick: Then HK-47 lost his memory became kinda a wanderer. He drifted from master to master, killing most of them. Wiz: Eventually, HK-47 ended up on Tatooine, where Revan bought him again. Although, neither remembered the other, because HK-47 was damaged and Revan was brainwashed by the Jedi. Boomstick: Before long, it was just like old times! The two of them went on killing spree like nobody's business. They destroyed Star Forge, an old Sith factory, and HK-47 even helped kill Darth Malak, Revan's former apprentice. Wiz: But then Revan stabbed HK-47 in the back. As you do. See, Revan decided to travel out to the Unknown Regions of the galaxy. Only problem was that Revan decided to not take HK-47 back home with him. So HK-47 was left for dead in a random space ship in the middle of nowhere. Boomstick: Lucky for him, he was found! It just took a while. One of Revan's old war buddies, Meetra Surik found him and fixed him up. Wiz: But she had to be the bearer of bad news. See, a new type of droid had been modeled after HK-47. They were new and improved versions of him that had become galaxy-wide bounty hunters. They were the HK-50s. He set off on a journey with Meetra to discover the origin of these droids, who he perceived as a personal insult for existing. Boomstick: HK-47 gave Meetra advice on how to track down and murder surviving Jedi, and he eventually found the HK Manufacturing Plant, where HK-50s were made. Wiz: After his time with Surik, HK-47 went searching for Revan again. It took him 300 years to find him. He then helped Revan in commanding a space station. He was eventually killed in battle. Boomstick: But that's not the end of his story. Not by a long shot! See, some rogue intelligence operative called the Shroud kept a copy of HK-47's memory core. So just leave him alone for a few thousand years, and somebody's bound to find him! Wiz: And that's exactly what happened. Some random space travelers were dumb enough to wake HK-47 up and make him a new body. Needless to say, it didn't end well. Boomstick: HK-47 proceeded to start a rebellion and gathered droid troops to murder the space travelers. After a fierce battle, HK-47 lost, but he escaped death. He got away, and still hunts across the galaxy to this very day. Spooooky. Wiz: HK-47 is a terrifying opponent. He's proficient in stealth and open combat, and his programming gives him mastery over several different weapons. Boomstick: For one, he can use any type of blaster, although he prefers long-range rifles above all else. Wiz: He also uses flamethrowers to bathe his enemies in scorching heat and carbonite projectors to fling supercooled synthetic material at foes. Boomstick: Being an expert at killing Jedi, he also has plenty of weapons perfect for the job. These include grenades, plasma charges, cluster rockets, sonic detonators, poison gas, and mines. Wiz: He uses the Sonic Screechers in particular to disrupt a Jedi's connection with the Force by shattering their concentration. He uses mines and gas to catch enemies by surprise, giving him an advantage in battles. In a pinch he can use martial arts and is versed in psychological warfare, but he prefers to snipe his victims from afar before any confrontation. Boomstick: Not only is he strong, he's durable too! He's made out of durasteel, a metallic compound used in the hulls of ships, as well as Darth Vader and Jango Fett's armor. What's more, his power has been increased tremendously by the Dark Side energies that he's gotten from Revan. Wiz: HK-47 has accomplished many things throughout his career as an assassin. If one thing's for certain, it's that the galaxy wouldn't be the same without his lust for murder. HK-47: Observation: I am a droid, master, with programming. Even if I did not enjoy killing, I would have no choice. Thankfully, I enjoy it very much. Mr. Bones Wiz: As a young boy, Temmin Wexely lived under the reign of the Galactic Empire. Life was difficult. There was constant surveillance, and any friend you made could be willing to backstabbing you at a moment's notice. That's why when Wexely got older, he used his expertise in mechanics to build himself a friend and bodyguard. Boomstick: Buuuut, things kinda went weird. See, Wexely had rebuilt an old B1 Battle Droid from the Clone Wars, but he gave him some bizarre AI enhancements. Wexely's bodyguard became a terrifying mixture of various dancers, martial artists, and even General goddamn Grievous of all things. Wiz: This Frankenstein of a droid had an insatiable lust for murder and destruction, and would do anything to protect Wexely. This was Mr. Bones. Mr. Bones: I PERFORMED VIOLENCE. ROGER ROGER. Boomstick: It's a good thing that Mr. Bones fought for the good guys, or things could've gone very different in Star Wars history. See, after the fall of the Empire, Mr. Bones and Wexely joined the New Republic and began hunting down war criminals. Wiz: He's participated in multiple battles across the galaxy, and rescued many Rebel leaders. He's killed more dangerous criminals than can be counted, although he was defeated in a friendly-fire incident by an A-Wing star fighter. Boomstick: Not to worry, though! Mr. Bones' memory was backed up, allowing him to be uploaded to any droid you have with you, letting him continue his bloody rampage! Wiz: Trust me when I say that you do not want Mr. Bones hunting you down. His fingers and toes are sharpened to points like blades, and his arms have retractable swords built into them, which vibrate at high frequencies similarly to a vibroblade. He has one binocular eye to see far distances, and he decorates himself with the bones of his victims. Boomstick: While Mr. Bones carries a standard blaster, he's much more comfortable in hand-to-hand combat, where he can hack and slash into the flesh of his enemies, singing and dancing while doing so. Mr. Bones: MEAT PASTE! SO MUCH LOVELY PASTE! Wiz: Mr. Bones' greatest strength is definitely his speed and agility. Mr. Bones is capable of using many dance and martial arts techniques to jump around the battlefield, dodgin blaster fire and slaughtering foes with ease. He once dodged multiple attacks from an AT-ST walker, before climbing the thing and goring everybody inside. Boomstick: He's killed multiple First Order Stormtroopers, and he's even deafeated an entire gang of former Imperial soldiers. Wiz: Mr. Bones has six more joints than the average B1 droid, and he's dexterous enough to catch a butterfly in his hands. He uses combat techniques used by the legendary General Grievous, who had killed enough Jedi to make a collection of lightsabers. Because his programming and movement was heavily based on General Grievous, it's safe to say that Mr. Bones has similar combat speed, being hypersonic. This is consistent with how Bones regularly dodges blaster fire. Boomstick: And we can't forget how resourceful he is. Mr. Bones once killed an entire gang with one arm, and he also used the leg of an astromech droid as a bludgeon. Mr. Bones is capable of making use of anything in his environment if it'll help him get a more gorey kill. Wiz: Overall, Mr. Bones is a deadly killing machine. He uses various martial arts and brutal attacks to quickly rush and overwhelm his foes. He's extremely flexible and quick, and his AI is based on a Jedi mass-murderer. It's safe to say that if it weren't for Mr. Bones' contributions, the Empire would still be standing to this very day. Mr. Bones: I AM MISTER BONES! OH YES, VIOLENCE! LA DEE DA DEE DA... I DID MISS YOU SO! Interlude Wiz: All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all! Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle! Pre-Fight A figure sat perched upon a low-hanging support beam in the middle of an old weapon manufacturing warehouse, rifle in hand. The silhouette was hidden by shadows, making identification impossible. All that could be seen was the glimmer of a scope. Through that scope, the hidden figure seemed to be watching a conversation go down. A bearded man in an orange flight suit was speaking with what appeared to be an old Clone War-era B1 Battle Droid. Observation: the target is Temmin Wexeley, former member of the Rebel Alliance and current member of the Resistance. Helped in various raids of First Order bases. The hidden assassin quietly said to itself. Recitation: You're dead, meatbag. Suddenly, the loud screech of a blaster rifle echoed throughout the warehouse, followed by a bright red beam blitzing directly toward Wexely's head. Before the charge could make contact with the target, however, the B1 Droid pushed him out of the way, knocking them both to the ground. RUN, MASTER! The droid exclaimed. Wexely quickly made a mad dash for the door, but was stopped cold by a second blaster charge driving into the back of his skull. Wexely dropped dead. The B1 looked up towards where the blasts had come from, and saw the sniper responsible. I AM MISTER BONES! I'LL MAKE YOU SCREAM, MEATBAG! The figure jumped to the floor below, landing a few hundred meters in front of Mr. Bones. Without the cover of the shadows, the killer's identity became clear; it was HK-47, master assassin. Observation: You stole my line, asshole. Both of the droids sized the other up for a moment. Things were about to get messy. FIGHT! HK-47 quickly raised his rifle and shot a single blast towards Mr. Bones. The shot hit its mark, and fried the blaster right out of Mr. Bones' hands. HK-47 then blasted three more times, and was surprised at the fact that Mr. Bones managed to dodge them all with ease. BLOOD! VIOLENCE! DESTRUCTION! OH BOY HERE I GO KILLING AGAIN! LA LA LA LEE!! Mr. Bones began to sing psychotically. Exclamation: What the hell? HK-47 responded. Mr. Bones began making a mad dash towards HK-47, singing and dodgin blasts along the way. LA DEE DA DEE DOO, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! Sang Mr. Bones. His voice was noticeably cracking and rang like a knife scraping against bone. HK-47 began to back up and shoot more frantically. BLADES AND NEEDLES AND POINTY THINGS! OH, HOW THEY MAKE ME WANT TO SING!" Mr. Bones grabbed the end of the rifle and yanked it from HK-47's grasp. He then swung the gun like a baseball bat, slamming HK-47 in the head with the butt of the gun. HK-47 went flying backwards, and landed in a crate of blasters. As he looked up, he noticed that Mr. Bones was holding the sniper rifle as if it were a spear, preparing to toss it at a high speed. HK-47 quickly rolled to the side as the gun came dashing towards him, ripping through the air. Where it landed, the gun buried itself in the ground. It was clearly thrown with an incredible amount of force. HK-47 picked up a blaster in each hand and began to shoot them rappid-fire, but Mr. Bones twirled around and dodged them with the elegance of a dancer. HK-47 threw the guns down, and jumped towards another crate. Out of it, he pulled a heavy flamethrower. ''Rhetorical Suggestion: Try to dodge this! HK-47 blasted out a hot wave of flames, but Bones jumped over the scorching beam as if he was gliding. YOU'RE USELESS! LALALALA! Response: Goddammit. HK-47 sighed. HK-47 reached into the crate again and pulled out a Sonic Detonator. He threw it down, causing a loud ringing noise to echo throughout the factory. Mr. Bones stopped his dancing and gripped his head. HK-47 used this opportunity to run in and slam Mr. Bones with the butt of his blaster. This surprised Mr. Bones, causing him to unsheathe his vibrating arm blades and swing them wildly like a madman in confusion. HK-47 raised the blaster to defend himself, but Mr. Bones quickly cut it clean in half. HK-47 ran back from the spinning blur of razor-sharp metal. He threw down a mine in front of Mr. Bones just as the Sonic Detonator wore off. Mr. Bones regained his senses and took a step forward, only for his leg to be blown off. Exclamation: Hah! I've won, bastard. However, Mr. Bones wasn't done. He slowly got back up and began to balance on one leg, as if nothing had happened. He then jumped forward and wrapped his arms around HK-47 and flipped him onto the ground, viciously sawing at his torso. HUGS ARE LIKE VIOLENCE MADE OF LOVE! HAHAHA! Sparks flew as the vibrating blades began to dig deeper into HK-47's chest, but HK-47 shook Mr. Bones off of him before any serious damage could be done. HK-47 kicked Mr. Bones squarely in the stomach, knocking him onto the ground. HK-47 picked a blaster off of the ground, and pointed it at Mr. Bones. Inquiry: Any last words? He noticed that Mr. Bones was slowly dragging himself towards Wexely's corpse. When he got there, he held onto his former master's hand. Observation: You're curling up next to your master to die like a dog. Adorable. However, what happened next defied all expectation. Mr. Bones began to pull at Wexely's hand, before unexpectedly ripping his arm off! Mr. Bones jumped up to his leg and started to hop towards HK-47, severed arm in hand. He dodged multiple blasts, before slamming the arm into HK-47's face. He began to repeatedly smash his opponent over and over until every bone in the arm was broken. And then he kept attacking some more. He kept hitting until HK-47 was on the ground with a visible dent in his face. HAHAHA! LALA LEEEE LAAA HAHAHAAAAA! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!! HK-47, under a bombardment of blows, did the only thing he could think of. He kicked as hard as he could into Mr. Bones' remaining knee. This sent his assailant sprawling on the ground. Both of the droids laced still for a moment, save for the occasional spasm. Finally, HK-47 began to stand. He walked over to the heavily damaged B1 droid and stomped his foot onto his face. Then he began to stomp some more. He kept on stomping until metal cracked and joints shattered. After what seemed like minutes of stomping, he straightened himself up and walked away, leaving only broken machinery and fractured human bones. KO HK-47 began to limp away from the factory, and pressed a button, which made the place explode behind him. Meanwhile in anunknown space station, Poe Dameron is seen uploading Mr. Bones' memory into a new body. Conclusion Boomstick: That. Was. AWESOME. Wiz: At first glance, the two droids may seem evenly matched. HK-47 had the advantage in arsenal and defense, while Mr. Bones had the advantage in speed and combat prowess. However, upon close inspection, the victor becomes pretty clear-cut. Boomstick: See, Mr. Bones had no real way of killing HK-47. While vibroblades are powerful, they're incapable of cutting through durasteel armor. Mr. Bones could piss HK-47 off and hurt him pretty bad, but that's about it. Wiz: While both of their AIs are adept at killing Jedi, HK's the only one who's actually done so. This is an enormous advantage against Mr. Bones, because General Grievous' fighting style, and by extension Mr Bones', are based on Jedi fighting style. General Grievous: You fool! I was trained in your Jedi arts by Count Dookoo! Boomstick: Mr. Bones couldn't kill HK-47, and HK-47 was perfectly suited for combating the majority of Mr. Bones' techniques. Speed and martial arts be damned, all HK-47 had to do was wait Mr. Bones out to get a few good hits. Wiz: And let's not forget that HK-47 is a strategist; he can watch Mr. Bones' fighting style and come up with the perfect strategy. While Mr. Bones may have had some unique fighting styles mixed in to give him the element of surprise, there's not much that he can do to seriously damage HK. Boomstick: In the end, HK-47 had a skele-TON of hurt in store for Mr. Bones Wiz: The winner is HK-47. Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Series' themed Death Battles Category:'Anti-Hero vs. Villain' Themed Death Battles Category:Anti Hero themed Death Battles Category:'Gun Fights' Themed Death Battles Category:'Robot' Themed Death Battles Category:Assassin Vs. Assassin Themed Death Battles Category:Diegoampage Category:'Hero vs. Villain' themed Death Battles Category:'Hero vs. Anti-Hero' themed Death Battles Category:'Original vs Homage/Rip-Off' Themed Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? 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